my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
