Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize