I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Say something about gay babies.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
