I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
