...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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