Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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