tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
