I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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