The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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