you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
