is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
