Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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