So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it because I queefed?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize