But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
