Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize