Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Soap is not a condiment
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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