I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My vagina is very pro this idea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
