you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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