I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
