I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
so much tequila, so little girl.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
