He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
