I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize