Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
