this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize