thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
