just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
