i need an iv and a liver transplant
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
