I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
