i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
