did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize