i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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