dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
