"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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