totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
