Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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