OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
