i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
