He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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