fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
