i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
