So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize