I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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