It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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