In the future we'll all be gay
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
