I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
