This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
