She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize