At least make sure they are 18
Why
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
