I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
