if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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