even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
