before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
