So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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