so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
