let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
