the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
