it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
