Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
