New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize