I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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