HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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