They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
