Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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