either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize