I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
