I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
